These are all Keebler cookies and short of being blindfolded, there’s no great difficulty in being able to tell a fudge wafer from a shortbread cookie. I also didn’t taste these “blind,” because… that seemed dumb. Apologies to that narrow subset of cookies that are noticeably better when dunked in coffee instead of milk. Dunking a cookie in cold coffee didn’t seem like a fair real-world scenario to throw at these cookies (to be fair, I don’t know your life) and it seemed tedious so I ditched it about a quarter of the way through. But as it turned out, between taking pictures of each cookie, writing notes after each bite, dunking in milk, and then taking more notes, my coffee kept getting cold. It’s probably fine! I don’t know.įor the first few entries, I tested them dunked both in milk and in coffee, to try to get a full picture of each cookie’s true potential. I used 2% cow milk, but if you’re a vegan you could use almond or oat milk. So when I tested these, I tried to give them a shot both as non-dunked cookies, for all the sicko dry guys out there, and also dunked, since that’s how I eat them. A cookie that doesn’t dunk is, to me, close to worthless. I basically only eat cookies dunked in milk or coffee. Hey, did you know British people call cookies “biscuits?” Wild! That is my “interesting fact of the day” before I take you on this thoroughly un-educational journey. A lot of Girl Scout Cookies are made by Little Brownie Bakers, a Keebler subsidiary. There are quite a few Keebler varieties that look suspiciously similar to Girl Scout Cookies, but as it turns out, there’s a good reason for that. As Patrick Henry once said, “I regret that I have but one life to sacrifice for my #content.” It’s not as if I’m on a gluten-free diet, and anyway I doubted I could feel worse than I did after tasting 31 peanut butters. Why Keebler cookies? Well, why not? And who the hell are you to question, anyway? Keebler is a classic American brand, founded in 1853 and widely credited as the first confectioner to fortify their treats with real elf meat. In today’s installment of “ Steve’s Hare-Brained Food Ranking Ideas“: the best Keebler cookies.
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